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Somebody sent you a 'twisted Humor Joke'

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Subject: Somebody sent you a 'twisted Humor Joke'
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 12:52:12 -0700 (PDT) Joke of the day July 20, 1999

Viagra Date

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."

The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."

The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."

The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy, limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and skin is hanging off in some places.

In a pained voice, the man moans out, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."

The pharmacist replies in horror, "You can't put Deep Heat on that!"

The man replies, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."


Funny Image of the day: (Rated R) "Oh No!" Click the link to view image.


A hip young man bought a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It's the fastest and most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man on a moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The young man replies, "A 1999 Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" "That's a lot of money, "says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do 320 miles an hour" states the young man proudly. The old man asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!" Just then the light changes and the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down just slightly to see what it could be and within half a second, whhhoooossshhh! it whips by him, going much, much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari," the young man asks himself in shock. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him at an ungodly amount of speed! Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction and it looked like the old man on the moped! "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?" But again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh, Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and it IS the old man! He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my goodness! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man whispers with his dying breath, " suspenders from your side-view mirror..." -----------------------------------------------------

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